Wisdom of the Ages 51

“After a very difficult life which included all forms of horendous abuse, alcoholism (both living w/a parent who suffered from it, then succumbing to it myself), failed marriages, abusive relationships as an adult, I found myself finally proud of my motherhood to two young children, a boy & a girl, and 4 wonderful step-sons, one of which made me a grandmother just short of my 31st birthday. When I was one month shy of my 4th anniversary of sobriety, at age 32, enjoying a full, happy, healthy, strong existence, a source of pride to my parents, my husband, and my children, I was crippled at the hands of an incompetent physician over something as simlple as an epidural nerve block to relieve some bothersome sciatic nerve pains.
I’ve tried all my life not to question God, but I had much time to ponder “why? after all this, why?”I had worked so hard to get my life together so that I could be a good mother, and now, my children, at ages 7 & 10, were now taking care of me more than I was able to take care of them. Then, it came to me. This world we live in becomes harder & harder with each passing year. It takes a strong will and a compassionate heart to make one’s way in these days of trials & tribulations. My suffering, constant, unrelenting pain, inablility to walk even a single step, is teaching my children both compassion and independence. I now look at my disability as a gift to them to prepare them for a world where only the strong endure without falling prey to the many snakes along the pathway of life.I pray daily, from morning till night, but I do not pray for myself. I pray that the lessons are learned, that I am right in my revelation, that it is not in vain. You may use my name, as I am called MamaAJ by those who know me.”
My current age is 33, born July 4th, 1968, in the United States of America, land of the free, home of the brave.

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